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Confident me – Confident purpose

“I got the job!” Their face was beaming and the inner glow exuded from them. Two of our clients have recently celebrated this achievement. All the hard work was theirs but interestingly both of them said, “I couldn’t have done it without you.” So, what was it that they couldn’t have done without? What did we help them with?

Whether it is for a job interview, or just holding your place in conversations at work, the ‘confident me’ that everyone wants, in truth, comes with a few simple steps. Over the next 4 weeks we are going to explore those steps that give us confidence as a leader and confidence in any interaction, including interviews!

· Confident purpose

· Confirmed values

· Clear communication

· Continued practice

How do I answer the question?

We all remember the days of preparing for an exam or interview and exploring how you would answer some sample questions. Digging deep into the memory to scour for the knowledge you need to know and trying to put it across coherently. But there is a better way than model answers for an interview or a conversation with your peers. It is to answer this simple question, as you’ll be surprised what the answer can show us.

What is my purpose?

The most powerful thing we have discovered in working with everyday people and everyday leaders, is helping people know their purpose – their ‘why’, the thing that brings joy when they are doing it.

We had a client who was recently applying for a job in the hospitality sector. They had practised some sample questions but still felt that they lacked confidence. Through coaching, they discovered that the thing that lit them up was when they provided ‘welcome’ and ‘inclusion’ to guests that they met. Showing ‘welcome and inclusion’ to others invigorated and empowered them as much as they provided welcome and inclusion to their guests. This then becomes a driver to anything they might answer. For example,

How do you deal with a difficult challenge with a customer, for example when what they have ordered is not available?

Welcome and inclusion drives the answer…

The most important thing to me is that the guest feels welcome, included. So, if we don’t have what they have ordered, I need to show empathy, ask what they are looking for, advise on alternatives that would work for them and include them in making an informed choice. A choice based around relationship.

The interviewee will talk passionately about it, as it is rooted in their purpose. It’s what fuels them!

A daily conversation starter

Transfer this principle to everyday life and everything that you face can be run through this filter and you have confidence to respond. The purpose, almost becomes personified and the wise sages that you consult. For our client earlier, what do Mr ‘welcome’ and Mrs ‘inclusion’ have to say on the matter?

Shall we stop delivering something to the customer? What does ‘welcome’ and ‘inclusion’ have to say to that? What would it look like if ‘welcome’ and ‘inclusion’ dealt with it?

Shall we take forward a new project? If we do, how would ‘welcome’ and ‘inclusion’ deliver it?

I need to talk to a member of staff about their performance. How would ‘welcome’ and ‘inclusion’ speak to them?

As a leader, we are often suddenly involved in conversations. Some come out of the blue. No chance to prepare the ‘model answer’. That is, again, where our purpose can bring us confidence. Everyday Leader’s purpose is to ‘empower’ others. So, if I find myself in a conversation, I ask myself, “what does ‘empower’ look like here?” I consider it in two areas:

· Principle

· Person

The issue that is being discussed, what does empower look like in the situation? I then consider, how can I empower the person in the way that I deliver my message?

How do I find my purpose?

It sounds grand and almost like a holy grail that takes a lifetime to search for. However, our experience of coaching people at Everyday Leader and Everyday Coaching is that it is simpler than that. Two simple questions can lead us to it, which are far less strenuous than becoming Indiana Jones.

· What do you love doing?

· What is it about that thing that is important?

As you dig deeper in that second question, by continually repeating it, you will discover a word or two that sum up what you love doing and you’re good at. If you’re lucky, it will often make a difference to others too. Of course, the important thing to discovering it, is doing it.


Can we help you?

Would you like to feel more confident in conversations, or maybe that big interview? We hope this blog has been helpful and if you would like some more targeted support to grow in confidence, then do get in contact with us. We can organise one-to-one coaching to help with techniques. Give us a call on 01449 710438or email if you would like us to help you explore this and empower you.

Everyday Leader is here to empower, inspire and equip you. If we can help you find a way forward, through coaching, training or consultancy, do let us know. Contact us now:


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