Leadership Presents - Believe in them

Four grown men gathered in the corner of the pub like children excited for Christmas. The fire was roaring and decorations hung to remind them of the season. The same thing happened every year but the men were still excited for the arrival of ‘Anna’s chutney’. Anna would make a batch of Christmas chutney for her friends. Cheers broke out as Anna arrived with her basket of goodies in hand like Little Red Riding Hood. One by one she handed them out. The routine of Anna’s chutney is far from the commercial Christmas that blares out from our TV screens. Anna’s chutney is delicious. But the value of this is more than the chutney. The value in it is that Anna’s gift says ‘I value you’ to those she gives it to.

It is the simple gifts, made with love, that are of far more value at Christmas time. So, with this in mind, the next 3 weeks of blogs will look at 3 leadership presents that we can give to our teams, not just at Christmas but plan for it all year.

Believe in them

I work with a National fitness, health and beauty chain in supporting the training for their young leaders. In our training session recently, we reviewed good leadership and bad leadership behaviours that they have seen and experienced. As we reviewed the collective list about good leadership qualities, we saw how they collectively brought value to those working for the leader. We reflected on the wonderful quote from may Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” At the root of this, sits the principle of bringing value to people.

Believe in them

One of the key ways that we bring value is to believe in them as a person, that they have amazing potential and mentor them towards achieving it.

Simon Sinek said these brilliant words

“To have someone believe in us, one person to see the spark in us helps us recognise the spark in ourselves. It takes only one person.”

It is one of the greatest gifts that we can give people, believing in them. As a coach, I work on the principle of ‘unconditional positive regard’. It is the belief that the client had it within themselves to achieve anything that they want to. When someone knows that they believe in them and in their abilities, it tells them that they are of value. It helps them begin to recognise the capability that they have.

You may ask, why should we do this. Well firstly, as a leader, it is the morally right thing to do. Secondly, it helps to create trust. Thirdly, it empowers them and you will find them increasing their performance as your belief in them spurs the belief in themselves.

Belief helps tell a new story

Seth Godin Said

"People don't believe what you tell them.

They rarely believe what you show them.

They often believe what their friends tell them.

They always believe what they tell themselves."

It is true that the internal monologue that we tell ourselves is incredibly powerful. I come across it in coaching and training where people’s internal monologue drowns out the story of their amazing potential. It is true that we can tell them and they won’t believe it until they tell it to themselves. However, if we can help people to see a different storyline for themselves, that is more helpful, then it can literally change their lives. One of the ways we can do this is to let them know that despite what they may think of themselves, we believe in them.

Like the saying, ‘a dog is not just for Christmas’, the same can be said of this gift of belief too. Anna’s ceremony of the distribution of her chutney may be at Christmas. But she instils value and belief in her friends throughout the year, long after they have left the Christmas fireside armed with their chutneys. Instilling belief in those we lead is the same. It’s not just for Christmas and it can be a gift that can last a lifetime.

Can we help you?

We hope this blog has been helpful and if you would like some more targeted support to explore how you instil belief in others then Everyday Leader is here to help you. Our clients find their coaching empowering, as we help them gain a full perspective and find a way forward. If you have a challenge and you would like our support, then do get in contact with us. Give us a call on 01449 710438 or email colin@everydayleader.co.uk if you would like us to help you explore this and empower you.