We tend to think about communication as like an archer firing an arrow at a target in an open field. In reality, landing an important piece of communication is like firing an arrow into a target in woodland. There are so many obstacles in the way trying to stop the message you want to convey embedding in the target so that there is a response. Becoming aware of the terrain and the obstacles would be a logical first step to help the arrow land.
So how do you do that?
That is where 'speaking last' comes in. It aids your understanding of the issues and allows you to guide your message more accurately. It allows you to consider their position, their objections and give reasons to your point of view that will address them.
Steve Adams, in his book 'The Centre Brain: 5 Prompts To Persuasive Power' highlights 5 key things that connect emotionally with people. Creating the point you wish to make as an idea, helping the person understand why it is important, painting a clear picture of what it looks like, having a contrast available that demonstrates what inaction looks like and connecting emotionally with the person creates a resonance with the person that stirs their inner self to want to connect.
Why & Why
Simon Sinek's, 'Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone' and his youtube video of similar name, clearly outlines how increasing the intersection of your why and their why enables the receiver to connect with your thinking. Because you have taken the option to speak last, it gives you opportunity to understand what their why is and so find connection.
Connecting as the adult
Eric Berne's work on Transactional Analysis, initially written back in the 1950's & 60's (and explained in his book Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships) tried to help people understand the different ways people respond. He proposed that we respond in 3 main states, that of child (free & adapted), adult and parent (nurturing and controlling). Being aware of how people might respond in a childlike or controlling parent way, enables us to consider our response to this and to try to engage the person in the logical, considered 'adult state' where real engagement can occur.
Now by all means read the books listed above and watch the youtube clips. But most importantly try the first one of 'speaking last'. you'll be amazed the understanding that it brings and how it helps you land the message on target.
Our training on 7th December 4pm https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/effective-communication-tick… will help you with this and other techniques that will help you improve the success rate of what you want to communicate. Imagine, as a leader, being able to land the point every time so that people responded for the best for the organisation.